I feel old and lame

I feel old and lame. The other day I went to several stores. I spent $25 dollars on storage, bath towels, hand towels, sheets for my bed, hangers, and hand soap. All practical things that I will be using. Things that most 19 year olds still living with mommy and daddy do not worry about, meanwhile, these are the things that I think about when doing a shopping list.

In a way, I feel like these things are investments for my future life. Things I will have in my life for several years. However, to be thinking that at 19 feels so weird. I feel like not one of these single thoughts cross the mind of my older sister who is 23 and living at home.

Yeah I'm growing up and I didn't even know it.

P.S. I got me some rain boots the other day, because everyone in CS knows that they are a must. However since I have gotten them it hasn't rained. I also want it to get colder so that I can sport all my cute sweaters and scarves. Neither is happening. I'm beginning to think Mother Nature is against me.

If only they knew...

So I just may be weird, but I really excited for by baby brother and sister's birthday. In two days they will be fourteen, and I'm so happy for them. Of course even though I am hours away and getting myself an education, I still take some time out of my busy schedule-and believe me this week is crazy I have homework and two exams this week- just to wish them a happy birthday.

Oh they can annoy me but I'd do anything for these two. If only they knew. My bff, Yvonne, says it's the curse of have younger siblings. You can't help but love and spoil them. Which I fully did this year. I can't wait for them to get my presents. All is in order, yeah I even gave my parents instructions for giving them their gifts. I'm talking time, manner and everything. These instructions were further passed on to my older sis who will be overseeing the operation. Yeah I'm a freak like that, but it must be done a certain way.

If only they knew how much I love them.

Gosh I miss everyone back home, I mean I am able to operate on a daily basis, but birthdays make me realize how far I am. I just wish I could do more than wishing them happy birthday over the phone, getting them a gift, and making a homemade birthday card. But I'm here and there back home, and it's going to be like this for several more years. Just have to learn to live and deal with it all.

I just want to disappear into my blanket...

I just want to sleep. Clothes my eyes and allow for the darkness of the room, the warmth of my blanket to lull me to sleep. But it seems that it is not enough to knock me out into a much needed slumber.

I just want to close my eyes and drift off to nothingness. I'm not asking for a dream. Not even a sweet nightmare. I just want my body to rest.

I can't say it's my mind because well it is blank for now. I just want to for once disappear into my blanket and not come out until mid day. But it seems I screwed up my sleep schedule way too much by staying up late for the past couple of days to study for an exam I had on Friday. Sure I aced the test, but fuck I want to sleep now.

Some rest would be lovely but here I am at 3 in the morning ranting about my inability to fall asleep. Well, the last 6 hours of trying to sleep have been a complete and utter failure. Grr! I may just resort to a drug-induced sleep. I am desperate for anything just about now.

Maybe I'll give it a try in a second.

All Days Should End in Puddle Jumping

Well today was just all kinds of hilarious and mishaps. Fell done in the underground. Wet floor and sandals don't mix. But honestly since it's raining I'd prefer to get my sandals wet than any of my other shoes. They dry quickly and don't get this weird stench if they do get wet.

Anyways, walking out of the underground (Kind of like a food court on campus.) more like walking towards the exit and then I fall. Of course, I just started laughing so badly. Actually surprised that I didn't end up looking like a tomato. Another good thing, I didn't face plant. In fact I landed quite gracefully. Luis says I did it like a lady. And, I would have to agree. See I didn't fall right on my butt. In fact it kind of looked like a herky (is that how you spell it) but on the ground. Graceful I tell you. But like I said, I surprised myself and laughed it off.

Then suddenly I found myself on the first floor because of a tornado warning. Yeah just my luck that I walked up to the fourth floor with my papa in tow only to be told to go to lower ground. Only me. Of course the warning past within five minutes and it was up the stairs I go. So there I go again up to fourth floor with my papa. I had to take my papa. I wasn't going to let a tornado to get between me and my papa with all the fixings.

Then my last and final class did not begin until I had made a walk drenched yet somewhat happy. I blame it on the music. I was also barefoot. I felt like I was back home walking around barefoot all over the place. I had so much fun on the way to class that the walk back was only a light drizzle yet I kicked my sandals off and proceeded to gracefully jump in puddles on my way back to the dorm. It was quite fun. We only live once, and puddle jumping is all worth the drenched clothes. A smile on my face as I type what happened only several hours ago.

Finished off with some Hawthorne to get me pumped for climbing up the stairs...again. I didn't even get out of breathe until I was 3 1/2 floors up. Yay!

It was a great day. I would say so. Not to mention that we began painting our room the other day. It looks quite nicely. If I do say so. Hope it turns out okay. Picture soon

Avoidance

Defined as doing everything possible to not have to read my physics book, and prolong having to do my mastering physics. I am aware it's there, but I just can't bring myself to do them.

So far I have done my laundry, spent hours on tumblr, ate ( of course need that to live), reorganized my desk drawers, did some fall cleaning, began a photo and quote collage on my wall, and plenty of napping. Even stared at my planner wishing that it would give me a better suggestion. But it only tells me what I write in it. Oh well. Then there is of course hulu and a nicely placed Kelli Excursion. Oh yes I even painted my nails, both feet and hands. Trimming and filing included as well.

If I do say so, I have mastered the avoidance of physics, but really I should be mastering physics.

Oh well.

I can write novels like everybody's business

Lately I have been falling in love with emails. Sort of kind of letters or so. Yeah I don't know why. I believe it goes back to my cousin being out of the country so much and the only way to get in contact with him is through emails. Honestly it was always about something ridiculous Vianey had said or my daily mishaps. Nothing to out of the norm.

I have always been one to love letters. Even back in the day with notes. Yes, I still have my correspondences with Yvonne. We would call our letters novels due to the fact they always ended up being to long to be even called notes. Oh they where anything short of memos. But I loved them. Every doodle on the side. Every time I'd sign "<3 Vanessa" and where every letter had a place for "LP rox!" or "I <3 LP!"  

And it seems old habits die hard. Please when me and Yvonne would spontaneously write letters to each other in high school it's no wonder the habit was never really done away with. Anyways, I have seem to gone back to the old novel thing. And now I feel like writing letters to people, but I feel that's too obsessive.

For now I thank my pen pal Tina for inspiring by sending the first letter. You bring a smile to my face with your daily happenings and allow me to embrace my old love.

Thank you :)

P.S. Anyone want a pen pal?